what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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