remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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