Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
