Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
