so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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