WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
