He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
