Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
