____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
