that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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