Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
