I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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