I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
