Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
