It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
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My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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