he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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