some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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