Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
