I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
