You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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