i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
