God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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