we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Houston, we have a blender
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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