My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
