I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
