Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
