i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
