i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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