At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
