hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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