I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How's work?
Spinning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
