I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
