Do you still have your period?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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