I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
