yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
