"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize