I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i love accidental penises.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
