Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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