So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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