im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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