dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
