She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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