I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
