everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize