Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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