I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
