im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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