it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
