You really coming over, don't trick.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
