batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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