now i know why i became what i already was.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
