I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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