OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
