and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?