if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me