It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
