brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives