he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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