Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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