Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
