Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize