the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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